{"title":"Scum Grunt Coffee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis coffee is a Great gift for the disgruntled linemen on your crew.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"not-my-job-roastlight-roast-coffee","title":"Not my job roast(Light Roast coffee)","description":"\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"205\" data-end=\"265\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"205\" data-end=\"265\"\u003e12oz of Light Roast, Low Effort, and Zero Responsibility\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"267\" data-end=\"707\"\u003eThis ain’t the coffee for go-getters — this is for the \"go ask someone else\" crew. The \u003cem data-start=\"354\" data-end=\"366\"\u003eNot My Job\u003c\/em\u003e blend is light on the body and heavy on the \"don’t bother me\" vibes. Pulled from the hills of South and Central America and roasted stateside, this light roast delivers citrus and dried fruit flavor like it’s trying to keep things professional — but with enough milk chocolate and almond to remind you it’s still barely holding it together.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"709\" data-end=\"916\"\u003ePerfect for pour-over, AeroPress, cold brew, or whatever method you use when you're half-asleep and don't care if it overflows. Available in whole bean or ground — pick your grind, or don’t. Not our problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr class=\"\" data-start=\"918\" data-end=\"921\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"923\" data-end=\"943\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"923\" data-end=\"941\"\u003eTHE BREAKDOWN:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"944\" data-end=\"1434\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"944\" data-end=\"969\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"946\" data-end=\"969\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"946\" data-end=\"955\"\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 12oz (340g)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"970\" data-end=\"990\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"972\" data-end=\"990\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"972\" data-end=\"982\"\u003eRoast:\u003c\/strong\u003e Light\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"991\" data-end=\"1077\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"993\" data-end=\"1077\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"993\" data-end=\"1004\"\u003eFlavor:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dried fruit, citrus, light body with hints of milk chocolate \u0026amp; almonds\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"1078\" data-end=\"1117\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"1080\" data-end=\"1117\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1080\" data-end=\"1091\"\u003eRegion:\u003c\/strong\u003e South \u0026amp; Central America\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"1118\" data-end=\"1152\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"1120\" data-end=\"1152\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1120\" data-end=\"1129\"\u003eForm:\u003c\/strong\u003e Whole Bean or Ground\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"1153\" data-end=\"1179\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"1155\" data-end=\"1179\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1155\" data-end=\"1177\"\u003eRoasted in the USA\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"1180\" data-end=\"1228\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"1182\" data-end=\"1228\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1182\" data-end=\"1226\"\u003eSpecialty Grade Certified (SCA-approved)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"1229\" data-end=\"1312\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"1231\" data-end=\"1312\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1231\" data-end=\"1310\"\u003eSmall Batch Roasted — because we actually care, unlike your last apprentice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"1313\" data-end=\"1359\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"1315\" data-end=\"1359\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1315\" data-end=\"1328\"\u003eShips to:\u003c\/strong\u003e USA, territories, and Canada\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"1360\" data-end=\"1434\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"1362\" data-end=\"1434\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1362\" data-end=\"1434\"\u003eNot eligible for Etsy, eBay, or Amazon — too honest for those clowns\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"ScumGrunt","offers":[{"title":"Ground \/ 12oz","offer_id":52029256204609,"sku":"11456435160847438133","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12oz","offer_id":52029256237377,"sku":"18153877514819740266","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0663\/8547\/7953\/files\/2614283117717121071_2048.jpg?v=1785342762"},{"product_id":"grounds-for-termination-medium-roast-coffee","title":"Grounds for termination (Medium Roast coffee)","description":"\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"167\" data-end=\"218\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"167\" data-end=\"218\"\u003e12oz of Complicated Feelings and Kickass Flavor\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"220\" data-end=\"522\"\u003eYou want subtle? Go talk to your manager. This here’s a \u003cem data-start=\"276\" data-end=\"290\"\u003emedium roast\u003c\/em\u003e built for folks who can spot a bad splice job from across the lot and still appreciate the finer things—like chocolate-covered almonds, sticky maple sweetness, and a twist of citrus that hits like a sunrise through welding goggles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"524\" data-end=\"753\"\u003eBrew it your way—whole bean or ground, we don’t care how you make it, just don’t screw it up. This blend’s born in the highlands of Central America and roasted right here in the USA by people who know what the hell they’re doing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"755\" data-end=\"839\"\u003eIt’s bold. It’s smooth. It’s weirdly elegant.\u003cbr data-start=\"800\" data-end=\"803\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"803\" data-end=\"839\"\u003eLike you in your third write-up.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr class=\"\" data-start=\"841\" data-end=\"844\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"846\" data-end=\"866\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"846\" data-end=\"864\"\u003eTHE BREAKDOWN:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"867\" data-end=\"1340\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"867\" data-end=\"892\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"869\" data-end=\"892\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"869\" data-end=\"878\"\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 12oz (340g)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"893\" data-end=\"914\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"895\" data-end=\"914\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"895\" data-end=\"905\"\u003eRoast:\u003c\/strong\u003e Medium\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"915\" data-end=\"983\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"917\" data-end=\"983\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"917\" data-end=\"934\"\u003eFlavor Notes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Chocolate-covered almonds, maple syrup, citrus\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"984\" data-end=\"1015\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"986\" data-end=\"1015\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"986\" data-end=\"997\"\u003eRegion:\u003c\/strong\u003e Central America\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"1016\" data-end=\"1050\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"1018\" data-end=\"1050\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1018\" data-end=\"1027\"\u003eForm:\u003c\/strong\u003e Whole Bean or Ground\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"1051\" data-end=\"1077\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"1053\" data-end=\"1077\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1053\" data-end=\"1075\"\u003eRoasted in the USA\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"1078\" data-end=\"1152\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"1080\" data-end=\"1152\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1080\" data-end=\"1109\"\u003eSpecialty Grade Certified\u003c\/strong\u003e (SCA standards – yeah, it’s real coffee)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"1153\" data-end=\"1212\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"1155\" data-end=\"1212\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1155\" data-end=\"1210\"\u003eSmall Batch Roasted – always fresh, never phoned in\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"1213\" data-end=\"1259\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"1215\" data-end=\"1259\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1215\" data-end=\"1228\"\u003eShips to:\u003c\/strong\u003e USA, territories, and Canada\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"1260\" data-end=\"1340\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"1262\" data-end=\"1340\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1262\" data-end=\"1340\"\u003eNot on Etsy. Not on eBay. Definitely not Amazon. They wouldn’t understand.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"ScumGrunt","offers":[{"title":"Ground \/ 12oz","offer_id":52029256270145,"sku":"10315500940442462101","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12oz","offer_id":52029256302913,"sku":"29180007063540410150","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0663\/8547\/7953\/files\/3059608667238729280_2048.jpg?v=1785342762"},{"product_id":"pardon-my-french-roast-dark-french-roast-coffee","title":"Pardon my french roast (Dark French Roast coffee)","description":"\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"98\" data-end=\"182\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"98\" data-end=\"155\"\u003ePARDON MY FRENCH ROAST — DARK. STRONG. BITTER AS YOU.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"155\" data-end=\"158\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"158\" data-end=\"182\"\u003e12oz Bag of Attitude\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"184\" data-end=\"559\"\u003eWe’re not big on French stuff — but we make an exception for this roast. It’s bitter, bold, and blacker than your sense of humor. This Dark French roast doesn’t whisper sweet nothings — it barks orders, slaps your tastebuds, and keeps you upright through the worst shift of your life. Cocoa, toasted nuts, and a finish that bites back harder than your crew chief after lunch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"561\" data-end=\"794\"\u003eSourced from the hills of South America. Roasted in the U.S. of A. This ain’t your aunt’s artisanal blend — it’s fuel for the fed-up. Brew it your way: drip, press, percolator, straight outta the thermos — whatever gets the job done.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr class=\"\" data-start=\"796\" data-end=\"799\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"801\" data-end=\"821\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"801\" data-end=\"819\"\u003eTHE BREAKDOWN:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"822\" data-end=\"1283\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"822\" data-end=\"847\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"824\" data-end=\"847\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"824\" data-end=\"833\"\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 12oz (340g)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"848\" data-end=\"891\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"850\" data-end=\"891\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"850\" data-end=\"860\"\u003eRoast:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dark French (you’ll feel it)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"892\" data-end=\"971\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"894\" data-end=\"971\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"894\" data-end=\"913\"\u003eFlavor Profile:\u003c\/strong\u003e Bittersweet, toasty, cocoa, toasted nuts, strong finish\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"972\" data-end=\"1001\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"974\" data-end=\"1001\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"974\" data-end=\"985\"\u003eRegion:\u003c\/strong\u003e South America\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"1002\" data-end=\"1048\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"1004\" data-end=\"1048\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1004\" data-end=\"1046\"\u003eWhole Bean or Ground (dealer’s choice)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"1049\" data-end=\"1102\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"1051\" data-end=\"1102\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1051\" data-end=\"1100\"\u003eRoasted in the USA by people who don’t flinch\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"1103\" data-end=\"1166\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"1105\" data-end=\"1166\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1105\" data-end=\"1164\"\u003eCertified “Specialty Grade” — yeah, it’s the good stuff\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"1167\" data-end=\"1217\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"1169\" data-end=\"1217\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1169\" data-end=\"1215\"\u003eShips to the U.S., territories, and Canada\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"\" data-start=\"1218\" data-end=\"1283\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-start=\"1220\" data-end=\"1283\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1220\" data-end=\"1283\"\u003eNot for Etsy, eBay, or Amazon. Too raw for those platforms.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"ScumGrunt","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12oz","offer_id":52029256794433,"sku":"12512117774500355102","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ground \/ 12oz","offer_id":52029256827201,"sku":"30959801202886151134","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0663\/8547\/7953\/files\/14092601781057992513_2048.jpg?v=1785342767"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0663\/8547\/7953\/collections\/B097ABFB-209E-4CEB-9021-4AC534ED73E1.jpg?v=1785342969","url":"https:\/\/hookeduplinecompany.com\/collections\/scum-grunt-coffee.oembed","provider":"Hooked Up Line Company","version":"1.0","type":"link"}